I'm a 28-year-old woman and I've been in a DDlg dynamic for two years. My family would be horrified if they found out. How do people manage keeping this part of their life private?
Rituals, Protocol & ServiceMost people in DDlg relationships keep that part of their lives private from family, and the majority manage it without particular difficulty. The same discretion that applies to any personal aspect of adult sexuality applies here: you are not obligated to disclose your private life.
Compartmentalising a kink relationship from family life is the norm rather than the exception for most practitioners, across every type of dynamic. Very few people of any sexuality describe every detail of their intimate life to their parents or siblings, and keeping a DDlg dynamic private is no different in principle from keeping any other bedroom arrangement to yourself.
Practical management mostly comes down to the usual privacy considerations: separate social media accounts or restricted audiences for any community participation, storing physical items associated with the dynamic where they will not be stumbled upon, and being thoughtful about what your partner knows or says around family.
The harder part for many people is the psychological weight of a double life, particularly if the dynamic is a meaningful part of your identity. The standard advice is to find some community where you can be open, whether that is an online group, a local munch, or close friends who know. Having people with whom you can be fully honest prevents the secrecy from becoming isolating.
You may also find, over time, that your comfort with privacy changes. Some people eventually choose to come out about their kink interests to trusted family members. Others prefer lifelong discretion and find that perfectly workable. Both are legitimate choices, and you do not need to resolve it now.
The horror your family might feel is mostly about their assumptions, not about who you actually are.