I was sexually abused as a teenager and now as an adult I'm drawn to consensual non-consent roleplay. Does this mean something is wrong with me psychologically?

The relationship between trauma and specific kink interests is complex, and researchers who study this area consistently find that kink interests, including CNC, are not evidence of psychological damage. The brain's processing of past experiences and the erotic imagination operate in ways that do not always map neatly onto each other.

The specific mechanism many survivors describe is one of reclamation: when the scenario is on your terms, with a trusted partner, under conditions you have negotiated and can stop at any point, it becomes an entirely different experience than the original. The control you did not have is present in every element. Some survivors find this profoundly meaningful; others try it and find it brings up too much; both are valid outcomes.

The critical difference between a healthy CNC practice and one that might be re-traumatising is the degree of genuine agency you maintain. Strong negotiation of the scenario, clear safe words, careful aftercare, and a trustworthy partner are the structural components. Acting out a poorly negotiated scenario with someone you do not fully trust is risky for anyone and more risky for someone with relevant trauma.

Working with a kink-aware therapist, if that is accessible to you, can be genuinely helpful, not because CNC is pathological but because a professional who understands both trauma and kink can help you distinguish between use of kink that serves your wellbeing and patterns that might be replaying harm.

Your interest does not mean anything is wrong with you.